Monday, October 13, 2008

Angry Michigan Defenseman Hating God

It's official. Angry Michigan Safety Hating God has bred. And his spawn, Angry Michigan Defenseman Hating God, is pissed the f--- off.

To recap:
-The week before the season, Brandon Burlon twists his ankle. He missed last weekend's games and will likely miss another 1-2 weeks.

-Tristin Llewellyn was suffering from concussion-like symptoms and missed the opener.

-In the opener, Mark Mitera injured his knee and will miss somewhere between most and all of the season.

-Now there's one soul less on His fiery list. Steven Kampfer, who was only +6 this weekend, was hospitalized after an off-ice incident Saturday night. Red can't talk about it yet, since it happened off-ice, but apparently Kampfer will be out for quite some time. He probably stepped on an acorn while moving a fridge... (Edit: MHNet made roughly that same joke, four minutes sooner)

Good thing we brought in Greg Pateryn this year. The Anaheim Ducks must be thrilled with the way their defense prospects are faring this year in Ann Arbor.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kampfer was jumped, I am told by some wrestlers, and his skull was fractured and he will be out several months.

Craig said...

Does this even count Jack Johnson's injury for the Kings?

Becky said...

Holy shit.

kc8niy said...

I have plenty of words, but they are all of the four letter variety. Add in a few other nouns and verbs where you feel appropriate.

Becky has a good start.

David said...

I was also told what the first poster said. Apparently his girlfriend slept with someone on the wrestling team and they got into a fight, with multiple wrestlers jumping Kampfer. Oh those mean streets of Ann Arbor...

Anonymous said...

The girlfriend had nothing to do with this. He was walking with a friend and was jumped from behind and slammed to the ground.

Anonymous said...

I heard he approached a football player who was hitting on his girlfriend and it was he that threw him to the ground.

Jacques Auef said...

NO, witnesses say that a hockey puck fell from the sky and smacked him right in the noggin. Blame it on Global Warming...

Anonymous said...

I just heard from someone I know and trust the reason Kampfer is injured is a football player, Mike Milano (scrub running back) body slammed Kampfer fighting over a girl (possibly a UofM Gymnast) and that body slam put Kampfer in the intensive care unit. Now our football team which is losing is now hurting our good hockey team.

Anonymous said...

The there has been a witness come forward who also saw everything. According to the story I just read Kampfer made a comment to the football player and keep on walking never throwing a punch. The football player came up behind him (chicken shit) and grabbed him and threw him down and landed on his head. He had no chance to protect himself. wrestler move all the way. I hope Rich Rod does the right thing. ccccya. Good luck Kamps get will soon. Hope to see you at the rink.

gix said...

So Steve Kampfer finally starts playing good (as in unlike his freshman year when I was terrified when the puck was anywhere near him) and this **** happens?

Someone hire the secret service to protect our defensemen.

Anonymous said...

I hope that Fing Football Player is sued for every cent he ever makes!! Kampfer was gunna go places!!! That stupid Stupid MEAT HEAD deserves the worst!!!!!!! Kampfer didn't deserve any of that!! UGH!!!

Packer487 said...

Bonus tidbit: Mike Milano used to wrestle for Michigan, which would completely explain the conflict in info between if it was a football player or a wrestler.

If the police get involved as I've heard they will be, I can't see RR keeping Milano around, unless his side of the story is REALLY good. You might be able to tolerate that kind of behavior out of a starter.... ;-)

@Gix: Yeah pretty much. I thought he was quietly very strong last season and he was off to a great start this year as well.

Of course, this Milano stuff could just be a massive coverup. Based on his injuries, I'd say Kampfer accidentally stepped on Barwis's foot.

Packer487 said...

Also, check out Milano's profile on MGoBlue...can't say he's a dude I would screw with. (Then again, Chad Langlais isn't a guy I'd screw with either, since I'm 5'5"!)

I guess we should also kick in an "allegedly" or two, even if it's a sarcastic one, a la Jim Rome.

Anonymous said...

Milano has been suspended.

Anonymous said...

The story is this: The football player had unrequited feelings for Kampfer's girlfriend. Kampfer and the girlfriend were arguing and when she stepped away, the football player fractured Kampfer's skull. She came back to find Kampfer unconscious. Assault charges are currently being pressed against the football player.